Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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