Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
