That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
