I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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