do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just googled if crying burns calories
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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