in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
