woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
