Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
