She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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