butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
