Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
