i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
