My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
