so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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