I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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