I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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