My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
BRING THE BAGELS
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
