That's intense
I want to have your abortion
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
