I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
