i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
