i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize