just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize