dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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