your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
