hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
