well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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