Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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