Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Vodka?
Forever.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize