After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
