Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
no you cant smoke seaweed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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