I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
