My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
