Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i think i have two assholes
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
