Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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