The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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