Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
