Screwed.edu
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
