There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Green mimosas i think yes
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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