dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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