somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
