would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
