dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Randomize
