sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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