Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize