I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize