dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize