Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize