Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
