I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
