Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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