Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
