Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
