it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
