I wish I could punch you in the face.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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