dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
