Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
