Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
