I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
