i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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